You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
