I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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