This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
