4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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