I wanna passion pit in your ass
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
