people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
