In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
