You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
