apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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