I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The power of my boobs compel you
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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