How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
