He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
