I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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