thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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