She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
