I heard we made out
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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