I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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