I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
