it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
