Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
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