? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
When are your genitals available?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
