you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The police scanner is talking about you again....
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
