I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
