i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
