But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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