Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
