is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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