So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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