are you still at the devil's house?
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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