I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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