"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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