Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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