He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
