i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
