Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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