is wine microwaveable?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
