just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
