Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
