wrigley field is MILF paradise
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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