I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
