Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
