I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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