Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
