Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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