Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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