In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
