the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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