Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
