u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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