You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you inspire me to be a worse person
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
